#15 How to deal with negative people (NEG's)?
...besides running away from them like Forrest.
In every corner, you see people who’ll just put you down whatever you do or say. If we think some ideas are awesome and we should hustle, they will find 3 reasons why it sucks.
There are different reasons for that.
They might have the bad experience with the field, some companies, activities etc. Go a little bit deeper with this and find out the WHY. They might have an understandable reason behind their HYNEG (hyper negativism). Try to convince them not to dwell on the past and look for the brighter future.
Humans are habitual creatures and whether we are positive or negative, it’s a habit. It has been formulated by our thoughts, actions and experiences over a long period of time. The longer history we have with something, the harder it is to break out of that habit.
Stop! Look! Listen!
There’s a rule talking to NEG's and convincing them to cooperate.
Acknowledge their point of view and make them part of the solution. Tell them that to make something happen we need you to find all the reasons why we shouldn’t do it or succeed at this.
Use it to your advantage, because having all the positive people around might also lead you to failure. You only see the positive side in things and tend to overlook the possible side-effects.
Rebellion against the change.
If you think only negative people hate change, you’re wrong. Like I said before, we are habitual creatures.
For positive people, you have to give logical explanations to get them on board. NEG's are rebelling just because. You can be a logical and persuasion superstar and still not get them on board. They live for the special moment when something doesn’t work. They get to tell you “I told you so.”
Influence on the group.
Just like a drop of piss can ruin the bottle of drinking water, one NEG might ruin your group working on the vision. Negativity is contagious and if it starts to spread, it’s hard to recover from that.
If you present ideas to a group and the NEG starts to rumble, make sure it’s public and say. “You have raised a couple of really good questions and I would like to thank you. To start with this new project we really have to keep our eye on those situations. Nevertheless, we should go ahead with this project. Work with me on this and we will build the road as we go.”
NEG's don’t actually understand and even know their HYNEG is a pain in the ass at some or many times.
Create WIN-WIN environment.
If everybody doesn’t win, nobody wins. Creating “Losers” pretty much sums up with losing friends, acquaintances, customers, team members. It defeats their ability to reach their full potential.
It's impossible to manage negative people or realists (as more analytical people of us are calling ourselves :) ). No need to waste your energy on that. You can focus on coping with them and handling situations by working together. Being diplomatical helps, in this case, to use them to your advantage.